Sweet Justice

Happy Valentine's Day, everybody!

Nino No More

Although fowl play is not suspected, I think it's fair to say that Supreme Court Justice Antonin "Nino" Scalia died as he lived: holding innocent living things in contempt before killing them and calling it a luxury vacation. No longer will America have to quail in fright before the juridical jiggery-pokery of this odious little man.

"I am mourning this remarkable man," remarked Barack Obama, taking a moment out of his own bromantic luxury Valentines weekend golf vacation with his old high school posse. "A devout Catholic, he was the proud father of nine children and the grandfather to many loving grandchildren. An avid hunter, he had a passion for opera music, which he shared with his dear friend, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg."

"They say you mustn't say nothing but good of the dead. He's dead -- good!" chimed in the ghost of Moms Mabley. 

Not to be outdone, The Washington Post started running live updates on Scalia's continuing death.

Mother Earth declared herself well-pleased with the situation, given that the Supreme Court had been on the verge of declaring null and void the Paris Climate Summit agreements by putting a stay on Obama's Clean Power plan. All the increased smoke and fire and drought and famine will have to remain in Hell for the time being, now that new resident Scalia's deciding pro-Koch vote has been rendered permanently mute. 

The candidates for the GOP presidential nomination, meanwhile, honored Scalia's memory by hurling more opera buffa insults at one another on a kitschy stage festooned with garish pinks and reds to symbolize the group bromance of these manly men. In the muscular bloodthirsty spectacle of our pseudo-democracy, Every Kiss Begins With Kayfabe.

Trump Gives Rubio the Scalia Salute