Tomchuck, Best Hair, and Who Cares

The big story on Tuesday night's State of the Union address is who is sitting with whom. The New York Times has an article Sunday about the mad scramble for seating partners. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell is choosing self-imposed wallflowerdom at what is turning into Congressional Prom Night. He made the big reveal at one of the Sunday morning talk shows. I forget which one; they all blend into one huge blatherfest and they're much like the musical chairs game the politicians are playing in Washington. Celebrity politician guest-hopping from one softball interview to the next.


The first odd couple to grab the headlines about their big date were Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and Tom Coburn (R-OK). In the spirit of celebrity name-blending, I hereby dub them Tomchuck (hope that doesn't make you up-chuck).


And what about this week's (and every week's) Senate prima donna, Joe Lieberman (?-CT). So far nobody wants to date him. But I hear he'll make up for it by grabbing two seats and spending the entire evening jumping back and forth between them.


Here's the bottom line. President Obama is evidently thrilled at all the attention the social life of the Congress is getting. It's all that much less attention the content of the speech will be getting from the TV pundits. The thrill Chris Matthews gets up his leg this time won't be from O - it'll be when the camera pans long and lustfully at Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY), this year's perfect-hair shoo-in for Senate prom queen. Probably nobody will even notice if the president calls for more troops in Afghanistan, privatization of Social Security, the appointment of Lloyd Blankfein to a new cabinet post of Trickle Down Economics Chief and tax breaks for corporations which choose to outsource even more jobs overseas.


But the peak moment will have to be when Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) gives the Tea Party rebuttal to the Republican rebuttal to the president's speech. I can't wait to see how big she does her hair, whether she'll outdo Sarah Palin in octave-spanning, and if she'll be sporting a chic new designer flag pin. The TV tells us that kind of stuff is important, so it must be true.