The Shrillionaire Mayor

You'd think that a guy so filthy rich that he changed the law on term limits and bought himself a third stint as mayor would feel a little more secure and sanguine over a protest movement. This is, after all, the man whom Forbes magazine has just ranked as the most powerful person in New York, surpassing Rupert Murdoch for the first time in the plutocratic heft department. But Michael Bloomberg appears to be finally losing it, big-time, over a street protest in the backyard of his fiefdom. 


His latest whine on a long list of whines: OccupyWallSt protesters are just awful people for not having called the cops about a vagrant groper who may have been dumped in Zuccotti Park by the cops themselves in their ongoing and hapless efforts to break up the camp.  Fumed Bloomberg: "Instead of calling the police, they form a circle around the perpetrator, chastise him or her and chase him or her out into the rest of the city - to do who knows what to who knows whom."


He then went on to plagiarize Daffy Duck."It's despicable! I think it is outrageous and it really allows the criminal to strike again making all of us less safe."


Bloomberg's comments came the same day that he said Occupy should blame Congress for "forcing" the poor banks to give out liar loans to greedy unqualified homebuyers.  According to Hizzoner, Wall Street had nothing to do with the economic meltdown.  They never bundled subprime mortgages into toxic investment packages and single-handedly made trillions of dollars of household wealth disappear overnight. Nah. that must have been Reagan welfare queens who had the nerve to take out mortgages they couldn't afford.


Bloomberg has always been carefully PC about Occupy's right to exist (calling it "cathartic and entertaining" for the participants). But, but, but: “My personal view is, why don’t you get out there and try to do something about the things that you don’t like, create the jobs that we are lacking, rather than just yell and scream," he uttered from both sides of his perfectly centered mouth.


According to Bloomberg, residents in the area have complained about quality of life issues. Only trouble is, there are only a few dozen residents in the immediate vicinity, which is a business district. Restaurateurs, he said, complained business was suffering because of the encampment. Then it turned out business is suffering because of the heavy police presence and their metal barricades preventing access to the establishments.  The barricades have been moved and removed any number of times in a continuous game of musical chairs.


Bloomberg's X-ray vision can apparently see rivers of urine running in the streets, and his patrician nose can smell the stench of feces from blocks miles away in his Gracie Mansion digs*. His olfaction is as sensitive as the Princess and the Pea's tush. The very thought of non-rich people getting attention in his back yard is obviously causing a major attack of oligarchic angst and a shattering blow to his sense of entitlement.


Rolling Stone writer Matt Taibbi has called Bloomberg's reaction to the Occupy phenomenon his "Marie Antoinette" moment. Read his latest blog post for a scathing takedown of Hizzoner. Here's a snippet recounting a typical celebrity centrist soiree that had the "No Labels" crowd liberally laughing:

And it wasn’t hard to see why. Bloomberg’s great triumph as a politician has been the way he’s been able to win over exactly the sort of crowd that was gathering at the HuffPost event that night. He is a billionaire Wall Street creature with an extreme deregulatory bent who has quietly advanced some nastily regressive police policies (most notably the notorious "stop-and-frisk" practice) but has won over upper-middle-class liberals with his stances on choice and gay marriage and other social issues.

But back to that predatory vagrant that Bloomberg insists is endangering him. According to The Daily News, the 26-year-old victim of that incident is walking around carrying a sign that says: "I was more victimized by the NYPD who handled my sexual assault case than I was by the assaulter."


Lauren di Gioia told the newspaper that police kept her waiting for hours after she reported the attack, even telling her she was to blame for sleeping outside.  The same old "you asked for it" crap that prevents a lot of sexual assault victims from ever coming forward."I'm a perfect example of somebody who went through the process. I followed all the steps of the law, and I felt victimized by it. I felt like I was a criminal, too," the paper quotes her as saying.


Correction: in my last blog post, I listed Bloomberg's net worth at $18.1 billion.  I was off a bit. According to the New York Times, he is actually worth $19.5 billion, making him the 12th richest person in America out of a nation of more than 300 million.  He is in the top one percent of the top one percent, or the top .000000001 percent. 


And he doesn't think a millionaire surtax to help save the jobs of teachers or prevent the closings of fire stations is such a fiscally prudent idea.






The Bloomberg Motto: Not One Porta-a-Potty Shall Go to Zuccotti. Let Them Wear Depends.

Update:  I just got my invitation from the White House's favorite Democratic think tank, The Center for American Progress, to listen to Bloomberg give the freaking keynote address on how to reduce the deficit at its "American Action Forum" next week.


This ought to be good.  The gazillionaire who just blamed Congress for the biggest banking fraud in American history will now proceed to advise Congress how to make amends and slash Medicare, Medicare and Social Security.

As the work of the Joint Select Committee on Deficit Reduction, also known as the super committee, comes to a head, the prospect for an agreement remains uncertain. On Tuesday, November 8 in an event co-hosted by the Center for American Progress and the American Action Forum, New York City Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg will present his views on how Congress should address the pressing issues facing the committee, the economic implications that are at stake, and his ideas on how a pragmatic, growth-oriented consensus can be forged.

For any Occupiers in the D.C. area who would like to attend this event, here is the lowdown. (Don't forget to RSVP and get there early for your free coffee):

November 8, 2011, 10:00am – 11:00am

Space is extremely limited. RSVP required.
Seating is on a first-come, first-served basis and not guaranteed.

Coffee will be served at 9:30 a.m.

Center for American Progress1333 H St. NW, 10th Floor
Washington, DC 20005Map & Directions

Nearest Metro: Blue/Orange Line to McPherson Square or Red Line to Metro Center.

For more information, call 202-682-1611.

* Correction: Bloomberg has never lived in the official mayoral residence. He has, however, graced Gracie Mansion with his presence on occasion. For example, when he performed some of the first same sex marriages in the state. Thanks, Purple Girl, for providing his correct address (see comments).