Be They Ever So 'Umble

A Good Ole Pair of Bellicose Bipartisan Bros

 
At a folksy gala held at his Dallas shrine on Thursday, George W. Bush told Bill Clinton and a group of military, business and civic leaders that the most important quality America's chief executive can possess is humility.

Whereupon he bragged that his friendship with Clinton was "one of the most unique relationships and important relationships in US political history."

That'll sure teach Donald Trump, the obvious target of the virtue-signalling. Were it not for Bush having been so blessedly meek, the invasion of Iraq and the subsequent global refugee crisis might never even have happened. He would have been too busy stomping all over Al Gore and still bragging that he won the election six months into his administration. If he hadn't been so modestly clearing brush in Texas during the summer of 2001 rather than wallowing in Washington and insanely tweeting, he might have made the huge narcissistic mistake of heeding the written warning that America was in imminent danger of being attacked. He would thereby have allowed a huge crisis go to waste.

As it turned out, Nine Eleven was the gift that keeps on giving to the global oligarchy. If it weren't for George Bush discreetly doing his cowboy shtick when it counted the most, the lucrative War on Terror never would have been possible.

"I think it’s really important to know what you don’t know and listen to people who do know what you don’t know,” Bush modestly and incoherently burbled."The decisions you make have a monumental effect on people."

He is right, because his decisions continue to reverberate all over the globe. Even as he bonded with Bill in Dallas, 10 women and children died of dehydration in an Iraq detention camp for relatives of ISIS fighters. That, according to Iraq Body Count, brings Bush's monumental effects on the people in that country alone to a grand total of 268,000 corpses.

 Bill Clinton jovially agreed with his bro about the lingering effects which ex-presidents have. “You want to be able to say, ‘Things were better off when I quit, kids had a better future, things were coming together, You don’t want to say, ‘God, look at all the people I beat.’”

You want to be able to say, look at all the women we forced off welfare and sent to work at low-paying jobs with none of that subsidized child care we promised. Look at all the black dudes we sent to prison, beating previous incarceration records. Look at how we deregulated the banks that crashed the economy. Look at how we monumentally doubled extreme poverty in the United States. It sure beats bragging about all the crooked politicians you were able to beat!