The Liberal Rich Have an Anxiety Attack

Since you can't parse chaos, I'll be abandoning my old Sardonicky shtick of covering presidential debates by grabbing the written transcript and deconstructing/translating the dialogue. I'd pick out both the most outrageous or humorous lies and unintentioanl bursts of honesty and have some fun with the spectacle.

So since you cannot parody what was essentially a self-parody, let's instead deconstruct the corporate media's lockstep reaction to the "debate" in general, and Joe Biden's performance in particular.

The liberal hive-mind  was shocked, shocked I tell you, that Biden suddenly became senile. This admission comes after months if not years of ascribing his cognitive condition to "gaffes," "folksy tall tales" and their favorite standby" "Joe just being Joe." 

They're unable to cover for him any longer.  As Obama speechwriter Ben Rhodes tweeted, they can't make you un-see what you just saw.

Joe's debate performance was like an AI app run amok. The stock phrases  and the platitudes were all there. They were just all mixed up. It was like being trapped in a crowd  of desperate shoppers fighting over the last bits of shoddy merchandise in a bargain basement  jumble sale. The obvious cacophony  in his head translated into such a hoarse vocal slurry that his non sequiturs sounded even more deranged than they actually were.

  He seemed to be in a race against his own brain, rushing to cram in all that over-rehearsed debate prep into each single two minute soundbite.  Thus, when answering a question about inflation, he short-circuited into the hackneyed image of a family sitting around the kitchen table freaking out over the bills into the awful price of unaffordable kitchen tables.

Not so funny was his answer to a question about abortion which veered off into a Trump-like remark about a woman being raped by a migrant. He also seemed to confuse Supreme Court sessions with trimesters of pregnancy.

At one point, he did make a cogent suggestion that the cap on Social Security taxes be raised in order to save our national retirement program. But that has already been drowned out by his boast that he "defeated" Medicare. Well, you have to give him credit for trying. Contrary to what Trump  mendaciously responded, that he is destroying Medicare by giving it to those dreaded immigrants, Biden has been stealthily privatizing the program by handing chunks of its over to the for-profit insurance cartel.

Biden had too much debate prep. He should have been resting his voice during the five days he was holed up at Camp David, Instead, his handlers overwound his clock, and the whole mechanism sputtered and sprung. He should probably fire his debate coach.  Or as one Youtuber joked, maybe he should find a new drug dealer.

Of course, the media's "aghastitude" is totally misplaced. How shocking, how sad and how tragic the Biden has lost his timing this late in his career. They're reluctantly urging him to withdraw from the race - not because of his dangerous  and reckless, policies,  but because of his feeble performance on the debate stage. It's not the genocide and the proxy war on Russia and his enthusiasm for more nuclear weapons that bother them. It's that his physical and mental health are inexorably declining.

A guy seemingly on the verge of actual death himself is not the best salesman for the  marketing and the subsequent explaining-away of all the violent deaths of others at the hands of the US hegemon.

One thing that does merit specific deconstruction is the unctuous New York Times editorial which urges Biden to step aside in the interests of said US hegemon.  ("good of the country.") As with other examples of the uniform concern trolling narrative on display by the liberal media hive mind,  the editorial board goes overboard with the flattery.  Genocide Joe is a good man,  a decent man, and a good if not great president. They act as though a politician who's actually been a maniac for the whole past half-century in power developed Alzheimer's overnight. They act as though he is just your standard harmless grandpa with one too many fender-benders and it is now their painful duty to relieve him of the car keys. Or more accurately, to politely request that he voluntarily relinquish his keys for the safety of all the other luxury car-owners traversing the private road.

And if he refuses, they hasten to add that they'd sooner Biden get behind the wheel again rather than let other souped-up geezer-mobile of a Trump hog the road again.

If the race comes down to a choice between Mr. Trump and Mr. Biden, the sitting president would be this board’s unequivocal pick. That is how much of a danger Mr. Trump poses. But given that very danger, the stakes for the country and the uneven abilities of Mr. Biden, the United States needs a stronger opponent to the presumptive Republican nominee. To make a call for a new Democratic nominee this late in a campaign is a decision not taken lightly, but it reflects the scale and seriousness of Mr. Trump’s challenge to the values and institutions of this country and the inadequacy of Mr. Biden to confront him. 

What is really needed, says the Times, are "fresh voices" as opposed to fresh policies to make people's lives better. The editorial admits that it's poliitical style that really matters - not political substance. Biden can't even fool a few of the people some of the time. 

The Paper of Record's lead news story today was not about the thousands of anti-genocide protesters massed outside Biden's latest campaign fund-raiser in New York City on Friday evening, let alone the many arrests by police in riot gear. 

It was about the angst of rich Democratic donors over whether their multimillion-dollar iinvestments in Biden may be wasted.

In Silicon Valley, a group of megadonors, including Ron Conway and Laurene Powell Jobs, were calling, texting and emailing one another about a situation they described as a possible catastrophe. The donors wondered about whom in the Biden fold they could contact to reach Jill Biden, the first lady, who in turn could persuade her husband not to run.

 As if every one of the billionaire donor class did not have Jill Biden on speed dial. They're just too cowardly to be the first one to call. It's easier to whisper to the New York Times, where Jill can read about their very pressing concerns. That way, they can hedge their bets on the off-chance that Joe is, in fact, re-elected. They hate to risk their State Dinner invites, not to mention international junkets on Air Force One.

Here's my theory. Joe will not drop out because without the power to commute his son Hunter's sentences on gun and tax convictions/charges, the young prince may not only end up in prison, but the money spigot supporting the whole family will dry right up.

The Bidens have always been about what's good for the Bidens. Jill and the rest would probably prefer the Joe die in office rather than live out a few more good relaxing days on the beach.