Wolf Blitzer is not in custody. John King is apprehensive but not apprehended. As a matter of fact, he made a significant breakthrough in a dramatic shift, falsely alerting the public to a dark-skinned man in a hoodie and backwards baseball cap. Homeland Security maven Fran Townsend is still at large after getting out ahead of herself with her trusted sources. Chris Cuomo is conflicted, simultaneously applying the brakes and "accelerating incredibly quickly".
An arrest has been made, no arrest has been made, an arrest has been made.
In case you missed the afternoon's adventures in comedically inept journalism, you can watch a recap right here.
In other news, Capitol Police mistakenly removed the wrong people from the Senate chamber this afternoon, for the offense of publicly shaming public officials who are psychopathically incapable of feeling any. Joe Biden, wiping away some eye liquid, outrageously admonished the Tucson heroes to observe the proper decorum instead of properly directing his wrath toward his colleagues.
He continued weeping as President Obama strained to simulate anger in a Rose Garden gun control defeat ceremony. Earlier in the day, Majority Leader Harry Reid had delivered a self-absolving whine-a-thon in order to let advocates of gun reform know that they can't blame him when the next slaughter goes down, simply because he simulated bucking the NRA at the last minute, when it was far, far too late to make a damn's worth of difference. He's a grandpa, you see.
Since Harry Reid failed to reform the filibuster when he had the chance, his
zero-hour crocodile tears were just an obvious effort to save face, to place all
the blame on the other side of the Money Party, to maintain the illusion that
the Democrats are still the party of the people, and to give the president the
cover to display some righteous public indignation. (without having to mention
that it was only a few months ago that he had heartily congratulated Reid on his
pretend filibuster reform efforts)
What Obama did get right, though, was
his statement that our elected officials pay no attention to the will of the
people they allegedly serve. (Whether he saw himself reflected in the camera lens, thinking about his own grand betrayals as he delivered his remarks, is up for debate.)
Just a few more justifications today for a huge, long-overdue outpouring of
public dissent and protest, flying shoes and rotten tomatoes.