Generation Y: Next Stop, Washingtonia




The Bonus Army Encampment, Washington, DC - 1932

 

If Millennials don’t like the moniker of the Lost Generation, or the Slacker Culture because of their 30% unemployment rate, they should think about forming a settlement in Washington DC this spring.  Right now, Portland has the distinction of being the city where 18 to 29-year-olds go to retire, and it's even the site of a new miniseries about the Gen Y'ers called "Portlandia." The trouble is, the jobless rate in Oregon is over 10% now and the city is feeling the pinch from all the youthful refugees.

Washington is lovely in the spring - it's Cherry Blossom time. and the balmy breezes will be gently blowing. And it has the historical distinction of being home to the famous semi-permanent
Tent City of World War One veterans called the Bonus Army.  These men converged on Washington during the Great Depression, seeking their benefits for having served their country.  There was a wee bit of trouble when Herbert Hoover sent out Douglas MacArthur and the National Guard to disperse the campers from the Mall, but all was eventually brought right when FDR was elected and Eleanor Roosevelt paid the settlement a visit.  The campers didn't get their money, but they did eventually get jobs. It was the start of the Civilian Conservation Corps. 

What better place than our nation's capitol to see and be seen when you're unemployed?  But where to go first?  Well, President Obama just spoke to the United States Chamber of Commerce about big business doing its patriotic duty and hiring a lot more people.  These financiers and CEOs made record profits last quarter, and just don't know what to do with all their money.  So your first stop in the job search should be in front of their headquarters.  Security might not let you in without an appointment, especially if there are thousands of you milling about on the sidewalk. But if you’re patient, you might snag some of the bigwigs on their way out to lunch.  Just look for the Abercrombie and Fitch suits and the chauffeur driven Bentleys and Mercedes.

If it’s public service you’re craving, don’t worry about the hiring freeze and all that austerity talk.  Just congregate in the halls of Congress and ask the hundreds of representatives and their thousands of staffers if they need a shoe shine or a militant bike messenger to deliver documents. Learn to identify the lobbyists, and offer to make a deli run for a few bucks.  Once you build up your cred, they may even find you useful for delivering bags of cash.  If they think you’re being annoying or pushy, just remind them that President Obama has just started an entrepreneurship initiative.  Tell them you’re trying to Win the Future and to get with the presidential program already! Tell them we're in a race to the top and they need to invest .  Tell them Austen Goolsbee sent you.

If, despite your best efforts at finding meaningful work in D.C., you are rebuffed, you might have to resort to panhandling.  Set up shop at strategic points where the cable news crews do their spot reporting and near the entrances to tourist destinations, foreign embassies, five star restaurants, John Boehner’s watering holes….  use your creativity.  Remember -  the theme of the President’s State of the Union speech was“Innovation is Imagination”.

Above all, take care of yourself.  You'll need to take regular breaks from your entrepreneurshipping.  All opportunity-seeking and no play make Jack and Jackie dull Gen Y'ers.  The Halls of Congress are a perfect venue for adult hide-and-seek leagues, though you might want to confine the paintball tourneys to C Street.  And don't forget the music, loud as you can make it, and bring as many subwoofers as you can manage.  Besides being stubborn and obtuse, most of the senators are also selectively hard of hearing, especially the aging Republican ones.