Monday, August 13, 2012

He Said Yes

There hasn't been this much media excitement since Charles and Diana announced their engagement. Mitt and Paul re-plighted their own troth on 60 Minutes last night in what had to be the fuzziest lovey dovey interview in the history of broadcasting. "I said YES," gushed Paul. The happy couple recounted the hotel hideout, the ride to the secret location in the black SUV through the dark woods to the final tryst, when Mitt finally popped the question.

The two lovebirds just couldn't keep their eyes off one another as they giddily breezed through the Bob Schieffer interview. Paul of the Big Blue Eyes even sneaked Shy Di glances at his new Prince Charming from time to time. Mitt himself was the very picture of the aging awkward swain:

RomRy have eclipsed Brangelina. This May-December political wedding between two guys with good hair has grabbed the national spotlight. The whirlwind courtship and honeymoon is blazing in tabloid headlines, even in the staid New York Times. Watch for the media frenzy to continue at least through the Republican National Convention. You can watch the 60 Minutes interview here. If you're not up for it, here's part of the transcript: 
Bob Schieffer:  What I would like to know was there one point where there was one moment when zing went the beat of your heart you said, "This is the guy. This is my guy."

Mitt Romney: Well, actually, you know, we've been plotting the country's downfall seeing each other working together for a while and, over the last year, Paul and I have come together on some policy issues and sat down and discussed those things. I was impressed with his sadistic right wing social engineering understanding of the issues that we were facing and also his cruelty political acumen. But then we spent some time on the campaign trail. I got to meet his wife and three children and was very impressed. They are the perfect all-American photogenic vanilla cover. But the final decision, Bob, was not until really August 1st when Wall Street kept pressuring me I kept my mind open, but I was intrigued and inclined towards Paul for some time, but I kept my mind open, and then on August 1st it was time to make that final decision. I called Paul and said, "I'd like to meet you on Sunday." And, we sat down and consummated the deal made it happen.
Bob Schieffer: Well, what was it that did it? Was it the hair? The eyes?
Mitt Romney: Well, you know, this is a guy who's a real looker leader. There are a lot of people who go to Washington or go to their state houses with a personal ambition in mind. Paul had a very different course laid out for his life. And became convinced that he was needed to try and get the country back on track. And he has gone to Washington with a passion for making a difference. And the Beltway media assholes have been having a mancrush on his phony centrism and telegenecity for a long, long time and I'm simply cashing in on his star power. 
Bob Schieffer: Has this sunk in on you yet? Can I see your ring?
Paul Ryan: It has. Because I've pretended felt for a while now that our country is in a very perilous position. And I'm a prima-donna. I'm a CAP. I'm a Congressional-American Princess.  And I've done everything I could in my career as a political golddigger chairman of the Budget Committee to try and make a difference to tackle this economic and fiscal challenge before it tackles us. Sunday is when we had this conversation and it took a little while to sink in after that, but to see all Americans coming out to these rallies, hungry for a new star solutions, hungry for a charismatic severe conservative demagogue people that provide leadership to get this country on the right track, I'm very excited about S&M this.
Bob Schieffer: And what did the governor say when he offered you--
Paul Ryan: He essentially said--
Bob Schieffer: --the job? A pre-nup?
Paul Ryan: --that we share the same hair and hatred for the common folk values and that I have the kinds of experiences that complement his skills. That complement his experience. To help him govern. To whip the peasants into submission. To execute a vision to get this country back on the right track. You know, to cut rich people's  taxes create jobs. To help people get rid of their Social Security and Medicare back on the path in life.
Bob Schieffer: I think I just turned into a senile Barbara Walters. What did you say?
Paul Ryan: I said, "Yes." 


4Runner said...

Thanx for the laughs. It's fairly funny that 2 such anti-gay guys seem so sMitten with each other.

Jay - Ottawa said...

Ah, the new twosome is stealing the show. That "60 Minute" interview by Bob Schieffer was so sweet. And I always enjoy the "tick-tick-ticking" thing around the commercials. As in bomb, which that interview certainly was. Is it possible to resurrect that other interviewer, you know, whatsisname, who died recently? His craggy old face put out tougher questions, sometimes.

We progressives should not let ourselves be distracted by the cotton candy of the RomRy romance. There's a class war on, you know.

Invidious Comparisons Dept: Let me second Spreadoption's enthusiasm over the Jill Stein interview (see his comment in Karen's previous post). Stein wasn't driven to the wall by Turthout's questions, but she had a great deal more to say about issues of consequence. I will go a step further to tell you to be sure to read the comment by Cher Zimbobski that follows the Stein interview.

In the meantime, let's keep encouraging ourselves and our friends and relatives to count up to three. The most meaningful statement that can come out of the November election is not a weak "Yes" for the lesser of two evils but a thundering "No" to both Democrats and Republicans.

Denis Neville said...

I tell ya, there's something phony going on.

Paul Ryan is the kindest, warmest, bravest, most wonderful human being Romney’s ever known in his life…

It not only creepy, but frightening!

Somewhere in the back of our minds, something tells us it's not true. It's just not true. It isn't as if Ryan's hard to like. He's IMPOSSIBLE to like. In fact, he's probably one of the most repulsive human beings we've ever known in all of our lives.

This may not be an election, it could be a coup.

Romney as the Manchurian Candidate?

Don Hazen, “9 Reasons Romney's Choice of Paul Ryan for Veep Is Smarter Than You Think, Romney's Ryan decision is a hugely dangerous step toward getting the Koch brothers' hand-picked star close to the presidency…Whether Romney wins or loses, the Ryan pick poses a threat to the well-being of the nation.”

Why don't we pass the time by playing a little solitaire?

Kat said...

Yes, thanks for the laughs!

"but I was intrigued and inclined towards Paul for some time, but I kept my mind open.."
Bicurious. Who knew?

Denis Neville said...

Mass unemployment. Millions without jobs, money, food, homes, and hope.

Passing by in silence is that very large and powerful body which forms the fourth estate in this nation -- the Lame Stream Media -- with its crush on the Very Serious Paul Ryan. So we will instead talk about how to make the masses suffer even more on the altar of austerity.

"The safest road to hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts." - C. S. Lewis

After a change in control of the White House and Congress in 2012, the governing party cuts off all funding that had been dedicated to boosting the economy or toward relief.

Black Bloc states that Occupy Wall Street has accomplished all it can with peaceful protests and declares that "blood will flow."

The military crushes domestic insurrections in the United States.“vision”-of-the-future

The authors oddly made the Tea Party, rather than Occupy, the adversary to the government in their hypothetical scenario.


How about a nice game of chess?

Valerie said...

Oh, my! I really couldn't watch much of the interview - the loving gazes between the two truly WAS so Charles and Diana-ish. What a sick black comedy!