Wednesday, August 29, 2012

The Queen's Speech

I didn't watch the "Powerhouse Ann Romney WOWS!!" (according to the HuffPo) speech last night, because I can only take the Gopper Gala in dribs and drabs. I watch for a bit, and the specks of spittle coming out of the TV make my eyes feel all gritty, and I get as teary as Ann Romney when she writes out a tithing check.

But I have forced down my bitter bile, and watched it a day late and about as many dollars short as the Romneys' tax contributions. Are you surprised to learn that I was unimpressed?

Before going into the red meat ( I Heart Mitt and So Can You) of Ann's speech, let me get my obsession with dangling modifiers out of the way. This FLOTUS wannabe really needs a better speechwriter. An example:
As a mom of five boys, do we want to raise our children to be afraid of success?
No way! We, the Matriarch of the Upper Quintile of the Top 1% of Entitled American Manhood, shall not raise Welfare Wimps. Hear Us Roar! 

And just in case you didn't already know it, Ann and Mitt do not have a "storybook" (read: fairytale) marriage. They have a real marriage. And she actually shakes her expensively manicured, blood-red talons at the unworthy marriage folks (living in sin/gay) out there in Amurikah. She assaults you with the contrived hardships of her life, she bitterly laughs "heh heh heh" when she dwells upon eating off an ironing board in a basement apartment. There were apparently days that the nanny got sick and the Quints raised their voices. It actually rained in Romney World! But those were the good old days. She is proud to be a Welsh coalminer's granddaughter, and a daughter of a man who built it himself, and the wife of a man who built it himself with a trust fund. She fails to mention that Mitt's grandparents were on welfare for awhile when they fled back over the border from Mexico.

And not to be subtle about hubby's woman problem, Ann shrills "I love you women!" in about the same tone of voice that Tom Cruise used to proclaim his love for Katie Holmes before he jumped on Oprah's couch. And the camera pans over all the be-raptured female audience members, each holding an identical handmade "I Heart Ann" sign. 

Why do you people begrudge Mitt his success? If he took her out on a date and brought her home safely without pawing her, he should be a good-enough, non-serial killer date for you too. He works harder in order that we may work less hard, whatever that means. (actually she stumbled over that bit in her haste to get through what had to be a tormenting experience, and blurted out "It's true Mitt's been sex.... successful."  Hmmm.) Sorry, Ann. Just because you say he acted like a gentleman with you, doesn't mean he won't try to screw the rest of us.

The really freaky part of her speech was the backdrop, with monstrous blow-ups of Mitt and Ann standing stiffly side by side as teenage sweethearts. It was kitschy Art Deco, kind of like Leave it to Beaver getting lost in Fritz Lang's dystopian Metropolis. Ann came across as an aggrieved June Cleaver sticking up for her husband-son, Wally. The scamp always makes her laugh, heh heh heh. The "laugh" came out as a plaintive wail rather than a heartfelt guffaw. 

Then it's blessedly over. Mitt appears and hugs her, and they walk toward the giant blow-ups, which suddenly fade away. And then all we see are their silhouettes trying to find an exit from the stage.

We Are Wives, Daughters, Mothers, Sisters... We Serve Man!


The Black Swan said...

Condoleeza Rice's speech was some kind of awesome. "we believe in free people's and free markets." I'm pretty sure those are mutually exclusive. And going on about how if we don't privatize our schools we will usher in the end of civilization as we know it. And thank God we invaded Iraq to prevent that terrorist attack we just knew was going to follow 9/11. It was a tough choice, but we made it. It was crazy; these people are crazy.

On a side note, does anyone here listen to NPR? I only listen when I'm doing the dishes, and every time I am amazed at the blatant pro-State propaganda they spew. Today I caught a bit denouncing the president of Gambia for having nine death row inmates executed, some of who may have had trials that didn't fully adhere to the letter of the 'law'. Outrageous! NPR, the BBC, Amnesty International, everyone was in an uproar. Well, what about the good old USA, where we execute inmates all the damn time. Many of whom we later find out are innocent. Or, in the case of Troy Davis, was most likely innocent and still was executed. Or what about Anwar al-Alwaki? Where was the outrage, where IS the outrage? Remember folks, state sanctioned murder is ok as long as you aren't the black president of an African country.

Pearl said...

If you think Mrs. Romney's speech makes you gag, I am now listening to the beginning of Condi's speech which puts Ann to shame. Her interpretation of events and history outdoes Cheney. What examples of the kind of women that Republicans admire!!

When the Augusta golf course invited Condi and her billionaire female friend to break the barriers for women on that men only course, I read an interesting article about how unrepresentative of women this choice was. Money and power is what it was about especially when the average woman golfer would not fit in with the snob mentality of Augusta and it was galling to see Condi being congratulated for being chosen.

However, I must say that I prefer Ann Romney to Michelle because she is simple, transparent and clear about where she stands. Michelle is a convoluted story that keeps us wondering what is really going on in that heart and mind and makes me very nervous and suspicious.

I refuse to listen to Condi's vehement know - it - all speech anymore as I am worried that I might find something that seems to make sense and that is when I should begin to question my mental balance. I can see how voters respond to the feigned concerns about joblessness, poverty and the message that if you work hard enough for America, you will succeed beyond your wildest dreams as several successful business women have indicated yesterday. I wonder if they welcome unions in their shops.

Denis Neville said...

Ann Romney is no Eleanor Roosevelt.

Ann Romney [to women and Hispanic voters], “You’d better really look at the issues this time. You’d better really look at your future and figure out who’s going to be the guy that’s going to make it better for you and your children, and there is only one answer. We very much care about you and your families and the opportunities that are there for you and your families.”

Romney “loves” women, but her party is overwhelmingly white and overwhelmingly male, and they promise even more financial pain for our nation’s women. She claims that the Republicans are the party of opportunity, but who benefits from that opportunity? Women, low-income families, and others in desperate need of support as they struggle to make ends meet?

RomneyRyanomics would be a Terrible Deal for the working class and the Romney-Ryan budgets cuts are to programs for the poor. Six of every ten dollars cuts will come from programs for the poor. They also frequently use the term "entitlements." They mean Social Security and Medicare, which are social insurance programs for which we pay through our working lives. Rest assured that they want Social Security and Medicare benefits also slashed.

I cannot help but contrast Ann Romney with Eleanor Roosevelt.

In her book, It’s Up to the Women, Roosevelt wrote that her greatest admiration went to “women in all ages whose hearts were somehow so touched by the misery of human beings that they wanted to give their lives in some way to alleviate it.” “The reason that Christ was such a potent preacher and teacher was because He lived what He preached, and [those] who want to accomplish the double task not only of alleviating human suffering but of giving faith to the people with whom they come in contact, must show by their own way of living what are the fruits of their faith.”

Eleanor Roosevelt’s priorities were peace, abolition of poverty, young people, women’s rights, and the rights of minorities. She believed that “the understanding heart of women [especially during hard times] had more strength of a certain kind than men.” The Golden Rule was a vital and moving force in her life.

For Roosevelt, “interdependence” was the one lesson of the depression. “One part of the country or group of countrymen cannot prosper while others go down hill, and that one country cannot go on gaily when the rest of the world is suffering.” Her pleas to “the old crowd” were for benevolence and altruism. If those pleas were to be unheeded, “we will find ourselves again just where we are today, still building a civilization on human suffering.”

And here we are again, a civilization built on human suffering, and a Romney-Ryan plan to greatly expand that suffering.

Valerie said...

I agree, Pearl, about Michelle Obama. She seems really fake to me - yet I am actually hearing friends say they don't like Obama but he is the Lesser of Two Evils and they like Michelle. As if THAT justifies voting for the guy! I swear, these people will grasp at any straw to justify doing what they know is wrong. Furthermore, what is there to like? She picked a totally non-controversial issue to champion - childhood obesity - and put in, with much fan-fair - a While House vegetable garden, which of course the gardeners maintain. She adores her husband - whoopee! What First Lady doesn't adore her husband? It is part and parcel of the ROLE. I think she is as much of a fake as her husband.

And Ann Romney is just a mindless caricature of a woman out of a 1950's television series. In other words, a big fake too. The last REAL first lady was Rosalyn Carter.