Tuesday, August 13, 2013

The Glue That Holds the Crap Together

President Obama yesterday appointed National Intelligence Director James Clapper to head* a secret task force to figure out how James Clapper and the Spy State can lie more effectively to the American people. In spook-speak, it is called being the "least untruthful". In real-speak, it is called polishing off the dog shit being hurled at the public and calling it a kiss from a warm puppy.

In a sign that the president not only holds us in utter contempt, but that he is now gleefully rubbing our noses in it, he wasted no time pivoting away from promising an "independent review" at Friday's press conference into cynically subcontracting the whole shebang to Booz Allen & Friends. Appointing James Clapper to investigate his own agency is like appointing Lloyd Blankfein to investigate Goldman Sachs, and then inviting him over to the White House for lunch to discuss how to starve retirees via Chained CPI. Oh wait... that actually did happen. Lying to Congress with impunity has its privileges.

But anyway, Obama made the newest announcement in true Orwellian gobbledygook:
Technological advances have brought with them both great opportunities and significant risks for our Intelligence Community. I believe it is important to take stock of how these technological advances alter the environment in which we conduct our intelligence mission. The Review Group will assess whether, in light of advancements in communications technologies, the United States employs its technical collection capabilities in a manner that optimally protects our national security and advances our foreign policy while appropriately accounting for other policy considerations, such as the risk of unauthorized disclosure and our need to maintain the public trust.
Translation: Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

Obama is leaving it up to Clapper to appoint members of the secret panel, which will secretly report to Clapper who will then secretly report to Obama, just in time for Christmas, at which time the government shut-down and all the other theatrical fiscal disaster Glass Debt Ceiling machinations perpetrated by the Duopoly will be in full swing, making the 315 million terror suspects, otherwise known as the American public, forget all about Edward Snowden and human rights.

As Marcy Wheeler points out, neither Obama nor any Congressional oversight committees will be allowed to question the Secret Panel of Invisible Sworn Whisperers. They will submit their report directly to Clapper, who no doubt will submit the least untruthful version of what they allegedly oversaw.

In one of his classic rants, the late George Carlin noted "there is just enough bullshit to hold things together in this country." But judging from yesterday's joke of a Task Force announcement, the off-brand Obamian adhesive has reached a state of dilution that renders it about as effective as water --  the kind of dirty, exploding-in-your-face water that you can only get from a toxic fracked well.

*Update, 8/14: Stung by criticism that he is appointing the fox to guard the henhouse, the Obama administration has used more weasel words with which to backpedal Clapper's assignment to investigate his own abusive agency. He is now only "coordinating" the task force, not heading it. This probably involves leading with his ass instead of with his shiny bald pate, as well as facilitating, mentoring, nudging in the right direction and hovering in the room at all times as the very embodiment of impending doom to ensure that the assignees don't leave the room with sensitive documents. H/T AnneEnigma. More here.


Fred Drumlevitch said...

Yes indeed, Karen. In a recent comment, I referenced Obama's bullshit and duplicity. In doing so, I underestimated his potential for in-the-public's-face hurling of ordure, and demonstration of contempt. The only question that remains with regard to his latest machination is whether he has accurately calculated that the public is so stupid that it will accept what he has served up, or he himself is so stupid as to believe that they will. The future of this country hinges on that difference.

P.S.: Your translation of Obama's gobbledygook makes more sense than his statement did!

Oh, and for an unrelated case of Obama's backtracking, this just in:


Of course, the NYT describes it differently. Their Orwellian lead sentence:

"In another setback for President Obama’s health care initiative, the administration has delayed until 2015 a significant consumer protection in the law that limits how much people may have to spend on their own health care."

"In another setback for President Obama’s health care initiative..."? In that clause, they are referring to the delay as though it was the work of some unrelated party, when it fact --- and later in that sentence they state --- it was the action of his administration.

And the administration's rationale is pathetic. The insurers' "computer systems were not set up to aggregate all of a person’s out-of-pocket costs. They asked for more time to comply." All that may be true (though I seriously doubt the first part of it), but even if true, should have been easily remediable in the time they had available.

Judging from the NYT reader comments, a large number of people are beginning to see through the individual instances of administration crap, and understand that it is part of a pattern.

annenigma said...

Obama has flung more crap on this country in 4 years than Bush did in 8. It frightens me to think they he has more than 3 years to do more of the same and worse. He truly is a danger to our democracy. Will I get arrested for saying that?

Obama's designation of Director Crapper really was an arrogant, in-your-face, middle finger to all of us, especially the Sanctimonious Purists. He despises us and he's not even trying to hide it. Narcissists are like that.

James F Traynor said...

"In real-speak, it is called polishing off the dog shit being hurled at the public and calling it a kiss from a warm puppy."

Oh God, Karen, you are a PISSER!

Fred Drumlevitch said...

Somewhat off-topic, but British Library blocks online access to Hamlet because of "violent content"!


Wonder what the NSA algorithms would make of it if we all started to include Shakesperian excerpts in our emails?

annenigma said...

Now it turns out Clapper will not head up the secret task force after all. Obama sure is spending a lot of his vacation time on this. Why the urgency now when it wasn't urgent for the past 4 years? In yet another one of his famously shameless lies, he says it's not due to Snowden.

Zee said...


As Nancy Pelosi said, "We have to pass the bill so you can see what's in the bill."

Clearly, Congress and the Prez had to pass the bill in order to see what's in it, too.

And I'm not sure they're liking what they see, dumb-asses that they are.

Meanwhile, the insurance companies are realizing a bonanza as they race to increase their rates to preposterous levels before various caps and controls--deferred by Obummer for purely political reasons--can kick in.

I continue to be appalled at the apologists--like the NYT--for ObummerCare.

Had Congress and the Prez had the vaguest of ideas what they were really doing, ObummerCare would have been rejected out of hand.

Meanwhile, the insurance companies are laughing all the way to the bank.

Zee said...


Great post!

But, "Cthulhu?"

Are you an H.P. Lovecraft fan?