Desperately Seeking Squealers

The premier think tank of the Democratic Party is asking that the public supply it with damaging information on Donald Trump's associates, and associates of his associates of his associates.

Apparently losing patience with the slow investigation into RussiaGate by America's 17 official interconnected police and spy agencies, as well as the slugs of Congress, the Center for American Progress (CAP) blasted out its anxious email this week to all the aspiring amateur snitches of Joe McCarthy's America:

Uncovering the Truth About Trump and Russia

Russia’s interference in the 2016 presidential election was an unprecedented attack on American democracy and a deliberate attempt to place Donald Trump in the White House. Given Trump’s obedience to Vladimir Putin and the deep ties between his advisers and the Kremlin, Russia’s actions are a significant and ongoing cause for concern.

The Moscow Project is dedicated to investigating the extent, nature, and purpose of Trump’s ties to the Kremlin—but we need your help. By scouring the internet to investigate allegations, donating to fund our research, or sharing our findings on Twitter and Facebook, you can help uncover the truth about Trump and Russia.

You can also confidentially email the Moscow Project
at tips@themoscowproject.org.

  That scare headline in the pseudo-Cyrillic letters the color of old dried blood really seizes your attention, doesn't it?  So does the entirely evidence-free assertion that October's WikiLeaks publication of the emails of John Podesta, director of both CAP and the failed Hillary Clinton campaign, was an act of war against democracy itself. It really sounds as though the Democratic Party is totally gung-ho for World War III.

But be not afraid, citizen-consumers of America - because you too can be a soldier-stoolie in the service of a corporate political party. All you have to do, with no remuneration or salary whatsoever, is to scour the Internet for damaging dirt, gossip and innuendo on anybody and everybody with six degrees of separation from Donald Trump. And please do send CAP some of your hard-earned cash while you're at it, to supplement the hundreds of millions in funding which it already receives from such multinational corporations as Walmart and Citigroup.  

Pay no attention to the fact that it is really global free market hypercapitalism and not TrumPutin, which has attacked and suborned our democracy. Pretend that you haven't been robbed blind by the rent-seeking oligarchs at the very top.  Pretend instead that replacing ham-handed Trumpian neoliberalism with more wonkish Clintonoid neoliberalism would be good for both you and your country. Pretend that this is not a power grab by one group of plutocrats who seek to overthrow another group of plutocrats by any undemocratic means at their disposal.

Pretend that this whole RussiaGate narrative is not a tawdry soap opera cooked up by an out-of-power opposition party. Pretend that establishment Democrats really care about you and your problems. Work for them for free, and if you can't do it gladly, then at least do it out of fear.

To help get you started on your free-lance McCarthyite quest, CAP has provided you with a special app for use with the largely discredited "Golden Showers" dossier published in January by Buzzfeed. You - John or Susie Q. Public -  can patriotically help the Democratic Party in its mission to restore credibility to the incredulous by using its special "Genius Tool" to annotate your findings. 

Spy for establishment Democrats and raise your IQ at the same time!

As an added incentive, because you might be feeling squeamish about your assigned role as a volunteer squealer, CAP has even thoughtfully redacted the "naughty bits" in the dossier. As you burrow deep down in cyberspace in search for additions to the dossier, you need never be assailed by the image of Trump's prostitutes and their urinary escapades.

Be assured that the Clintonoid think tank is only looking for good, clean, "reliable" evidence from you. When you scour the Internet for goodies on Trump's baddies, please scour carefully and thoughtfully, and dig for your dirt only in trusted territory, such as mainstream media. Look for photographs that aren't obviously doctored and for documents which at least appear professional. 

Please excavate and oink responsibly. And remember, they know exactly who you are. Both CAP and the sites where you're poking around will monitor all your movements:

By posting on this site, you agree to our Terms of Use; acknowledge our Privacy Policy; and agree not to post any content that is unlawful, defamatory, offensive, harassing, or threatening, or that invades the privacy or intellectual property or other rights of any third parties. You acknowledge that the Center for American Progress Action Fund has the right, but not the obligation, to modify or remove any comments that violate these terms or the Terms of Use.

Got that?

 

Now, let's get to work, McCarthyites.  CAP is rooting for you!