This Just In From Hillary's Think Tank

Stop the presses! Straight to my in-box from the blog of the "progressive" Center for American Progress (founded by Clinton campaign manager and lobbyist John Podesta) were the top two click-bait teaser headlines to make your Mothers Day Weekend like, totally, rock the vote:

Hillary Clinton's faith is poised to play a big role as she turns to the general election.

And, how Secret deodorant miserably failed at explaining the wage gap.

You might think this was just another one of one of those unintentionally funny non sequiturs, but hold on a sec.

I think it signals that Donald Trump will be unable to make this cold saintly woman sweat as he lobs his barrage of sexist insults at her. It's the next chapter in the Prescribed Hillary Narrative: sucking up some anti-Trump votes from the horrified religious right, while simultaneously allowing her to outdo a deodorant brand in explaining gender wage disparities. She is doubly poised for triangulation and armpit hygiene. And she's making no secret about it. She is cool, calm, and collecting. She is confident, and so should you be.

"I'm With Her" (Ad for Poise Deodorant)

The Secret deodorant brand might have landed in the liberal refuse dump right along with her paid speeches, but Hillary Clinton is still perfectly willing to share a couple of her other personal care habits with all of you everyday ladies out there... on this very Hillary Mothers Day weekend:

"My two secrets to staying healthy: wash your hands all the time. And if you can't, use Purell or one of the hand sanitizers. And the other is hot peppers. I for some reason started doing that in 1992, and I swear by it!"

 two secrets to staying healthy: wash your hands all the time. And, if you can't, use Purell or one of the sanitizers. And the other is hot peppers. I eat a lot of hot peppers. I for some reason started doing that in 1992, and I swear by it. Hillary Clinton
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/hillarycli458809.html

My two secrets to staying healthy: wash your hands all the time. And, if you can't, use Purell or one of the sanitizers. And the other is hot peppers. I eat a lot of hot peppers. I for some reason started doing that in 1992, and I swe
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/hillarycli458809.html

Hillary might be wise to rethink at least one of her product recommendations. Overuse of hand sanitizer and constant hand-washing are not just symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder, they can be a health hazard in and of themselves.

 With its high alcohol content, hand sanitizer is harmful if swallowed by the poised-for-success kids or grandkids poised to climb their ladders of opportunity. It can turn your hands into sandpaper-like husks. It speeds up the skin's absorption of the toxic BPA lurking on the surface of the plastic bottle. Anti-bacterial soap kills protective skin flora, which you need to repel fungi, viruses and harmful kinds of bacteria. It, and some hand sanitizers on the market, also contain triclosan, which can damage the endocrine system. In animal studies, this chemical additive has been shown to reduce muscle strength while amplifying testosterone levels. Given that Hillary and her minions love to tout her "muscular" foreign policy credentials, this could pose a real threat to her hawkishness down the road.

Hand sanitizer is not effective against the norovirus, which causes many "stomach flu" outbreaks.  And most importantly, the germophobia which seems to afflict Hillary (and too many other Americans) could theoretically harm those with whom she comes in physical contact. Overuse of antimicrobial products can lead to a generalized resistance to antibiotics.  And since Trump, too, is a hardcore hand sanitizer addict and germophobe, the next six months might be hazardous to our well-being in more ways than one. This campaign could well turn out to be a real MRSA-thon unless Donnie and Hill can get over their squeamishness.  The handshake part of the debates alone will be a real hurdle for them. So they'll probably stick to the usual elite politesse: air-kissing.

And as far as religion and pandering to evangelicals are concerned, Hillary should dump this whole church lady routine and put more of her faith in actual science. After all, she's a Democrat, not a Republican.

Oh, wait....